Slow Motion
by Dgm-yoai-lover
Summary: It was a strange thing, Roy mustang thought, to watch someone be killed right before your eyes, and know that you were the one to cause their death even though you weren't the one holding the gun. royed
1. Chapter 1

**O hai... Remember me?**

**. Ok, so, i know i haven't been on in years, but theres a good reason for that. See a biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig mess of shit happened culminating in me attempting suicide twice and dropping out of school. It's kinda difficult for me to explain so i wont, but i have been feeling better lately so i've decided to start writing fics. However, i've moved from dgm to fma for now cos, well, roy mustang is sexy and wants in Ed's adorable leather pants. So, i shall from now on use my experience in angst to write hopefully good angst fma fics!**

**Without further ado enjoy teh show :3**

There couldn't have been anything done to stop her. That's what everyone kept telling me. I suppose they were right; I'd been shot full of holes and could barely move, and Fullmetal had come running to see what all the noise had been. She'd seen him first and was able to strike first. In my state, lying on the ground in a pool of my own blood, I couldn't have done anything to stop it.  
But that didn't make it any less my fault it had happened.  
I'd only been dating Lavinia a week and a half before I broke it off; she was gorgeous, but utterly insane. She followed me everywhere, threatened any female personnel who spoke to me or handed me a report, and proposed to me on the second date. She was a total stalker so I dumped her.  
I had no idea, though, that she was unhinged to the point that she would use alchemy to fuse her arm with a gun, come to headquarters, and shoot me multiple times in the back while I was making coffee. She was deranged, barely a beginner in alchemy, and angry, so she was a bad shot and I wasn't hit anywhere vital, but it was enough to incapacitate me. The pain was incredible, and I was only barely aware of what was going on as I fell to the ground, it had happened that quickly. I remember thinking "Whose blood am I lying in?" And "Why am I on the floor?" And "Why is Lavinia here?"  
When it finally clicked, she was crying, standing above me, gun-arm pointed at me as she ranted and raved about only wanting to love me. I tried to talk her down, but I don't think she even heard me.

That's when Fullmetal Opened the door, his stupid golden puppy eyes shining with concern. I hadn't even known he'd been in central that day.  
"Hey everyone ok in here? A heard a weird boom sound..."  
The midget didn't even have time to look in our direction before Lavinia shot him, using the second, more brutal round that she'd intended to finish me off with. Lavinia's monstrous arm fired what looked like about thirty bullets at once, but all at the same time so it sounded like a single gunshot. When she had shot me, about forty percent of the bullets had ended up in the wall rather then in my body, but when she shot Edward Elric, every single one of them hit home.

Time seems to slow down when someone you know is killed in front of your eyes. You can't help look away, and your eyes catch every minor detail, every action, every small movement their body makes before coming to a rest on the floor. First, as the metal shards made from the iron in Lavinia's own blood entered his body, his eyes widened, turning from concern to shock. Then, barely a millisecond later, the blood exploded from the bullet wounds, crimson splattering in all directions, soaking his clothes, dirtying his usually-pristine hair, and hitting the walls on either side of him. Then, he collapsed in a heap, leaving a trail of yet more blood leading down to him on the wall behind him where he had been pushed against by the sheer force of the ammunition.  
I don't remember having any thoughts as i watched this. I just remember gaping in horror, my own eyes just as wide as he was. Looking back with a clear mind, it was like watching something that wasn't real, like a movie or a play. I simply couldn't believe what i was seeing, it had all been so sudden. I could actually see the light go out in his eyes as he fell.

Edward Elric. The youngest state alchemist, who lived for his younger brother, had successfully sealed Alphonse's soul into a suit of armour at age eleven and had lost two of his limbs to stop him from dying. The young man who had been through hell, but still managed to laugh and smile with his friends, who still had the hope to restore his and his brother's bodies, who had such goals but still went out of his way to help others. The boy who had time and time again gotten wounded but always made it back alive, who had that much life and energy in him, that at the end of the day he still had the strength to stand. Stubborn, moronic, sarcastic, short-fused, childish Edward Elric, who called me bastard, gave me the death glare every time we saw each other, who tried to throttle me whenever i made a crack about his height.  
And Lavinia, who was the reason this amazing brat was lost forever, was laughing.  
She was actually _**laughing.**_  
"Hehe, now that the rude intruder is gone, shall we resume our conversation~?"  
I didn't even give that bitch time to face me before I completely incinerated her into a pile of ashes.

**This is not finished so read and review for more :3 i know it's short but i like it that way~**


	2. Chapter 2

The reality of being a soldier is that your friends are going to die. You're told that from day one, that not all of you will survive and that not everyone get's to die peacefully and retired, and you'd think to yourself "It'd be easier not to get close to anyone", but that's easier said then done because in the midst of gunfire, threat, uncertainty and fear, it's impossible to not form bonds with the people fighting along side you, watching your back while you watch theirs.

I don't think I felt like crying since I had attended Hughes's Funeral. I've seen alot of things in my life.  
I've seen comrades and friends shot down on the battlefield right in front of while they were in the middle of a conversation. I've had to kill children and ignore cries for mercy from people I've never met before. I'd felt guilt and remorse for the things i had seen and done, and once I've even held a gun to my own throat with the full intention of pulling the trigger.

This situation, however, was completely different to anything I'd experienced in the past. There had always been some way out, someone else to blame. The military for giving me orders, The homunculi for killing my friend... I used those blames as a foothold to keep going, to avenge the people i had lost and had been forced to kill... But this was different! This time there was no blaming anyone else, nor was there anyone to avenge against, or anything i could do to change the situation. It was all on me.  
On my first date with Lavinia, She'd asked about alchemy and what it was, and all too eager to please i happily complied. No one had forced me to tell her the names of those books and which library she could borrow them from, nor had anyone forced me to date her even though i noticed straight away she wasn't completely sane; i just wanted to get laid.  
Outside my hospital room, it was eerily quiet. I was in my own private room thanks to my rank, but even with the privacy and quiet, i felt like my head was flooded with noise. Somewhere in the room, i could hear the gentle beep of a machine, probably a heart monitor.

"Ah hey, Colonel! Bout time you woke up!"

I slowly turned my head to look where the voice came from, my joints feeling stiff and heavy. Hawkeye stood by the wall looking worried and tired, and Havoc was just standing up, a magazine in hand and relieved smile on his face. They both came towards me. I didn't speak to them; I felt dead on the inside. I felt no pain thanks to whatever medication the doctors had given me, but if i spoke, the first thing i'd ask is what happened to Fullmetal, and even though i knew, i just wasn't ready to hear it.

"Do you remember what happened, Sir?" Hawkeye was talking now. I didn't know how long I'd been unconcious, but from the looks of her she hadn't slept for days. It wouldn't surprise me if during that time she hadn't left my bedside once. "A woman named Lavinia Lestrang transmuted herself into a gun and attempted to kill you."

Havoc sighed. "And i thought _I_ had bad luck with women..."  
Hawkeye glared at him and continued. She seemed to know i didn't want to talk."You incinerated her. Her family are attempting to charge you with murder, but so far the case has been in your favour, since all evidence pointed towards self defence, And now that you're awake...Are you feeling alright, Colonel?"

Through my mind, i just kept playing the scene over and over again; The gunshot, the shocked look on Edward's face, his blood spilling out as i attempted to mop his wounds with his already-soaked coat before passing out myself... But clearest in my memory was the woman's laughter. She had found _joy_ in robbing him of the light in his eyes. No more Edward Elric.  
I felt like killing the woman all over again. Suddenly, my eyes started stinging, and I clenched my fingers in the stiff hospital blankets, trying to control my breathing.

"Colonel...?" Havoc placed a hand on my shoulder. I tried to swallow my tears, pushed Havoc's hand away with the arm that didn't have a needle in it and sat up, wincing and gasping when the wounds beneath the bandages on my torso pulled and strained with the movement. My two subordinates made an alarmed sound and tried to push me back down, going on about serious injuries and shit, but it was all just buzzing noise in my ear.

"Take me..." My voice cracked with tiredness and disuse, "To the morgue..."

They paused in their attempts to subdue me, glanced at eachother, and looked back at me as though i had just sprouted a tail. "Sir, you're not dying..."

Havoc scratched the back of his blonde head. "Yeah, and neither is the Chibi, so you can just relax yeah?"

My heart stopped. I looked up them in shock, eyes wide. They took advantage of my surprise and pushed my down firmly against my pillow, but i didn't notice. "He's not? But... So many bullets..." I cringed at the memories, "He lost so much blood..."

Hawkeye spoke this time. "Forgive my insolence, sir, but Edward is made of much tougher stuff then you sometimes assume. Though he was close to death when you were discovered, he survived the trip to the hospital and made it through the surgery. He has yet to wake up, and his condition is somewhat hazardous for the moment, but so far he refuses to give up on living. And no, you may not go see him as the doctor has forbidden any visitors besides family. Alphonse is watching over him."

"Heh, That's so like him, huh Colonel? I don't think he'd die even if the world came to end...He'd still be floatin' around in outer space, arguing with Sheska's alien friends over his height..."

I couldn't believe it. Edward was alive? He'd survived that bitch's attack? If I hadn't known better, i would have thought they were playing a cruel trick. I could only stare at the ceiling in wide-eyed disbelief. I wanted to feel relieved...But i couldn't.

"Let me up." I ignored Hawkeye's previous statement and tried to get up again. I was hindered when my body twinged all over, and for the first time since waking i could feel the stiffness of bandages tied around my torso, right leg, and a cast on my right arm, from the elbow down to wrap around my fingers. Any pain was mostly stocked by whatever anethstetic the surgeons had given me, so i tried to get up anyway, but my goddamn subordinates held me down again!

"Sir, you sustained multiple large bullet wounds all over your body! You need to rest!"

"I'm fine!" I snapped loudly, struggling fruitlessly against them. In a physical contest i could take either one of them and win, but against the two of them, the best i could do was kick my non-injured leg, which they easily avoided. "I ORDER you two to release me!"

All of a sudden, i heard a clacking sound, and the two blondes stepped back to reveal Hawkeye had handcuffed me to the bed railing.

"Damn it woman!"

Havoc looked between us awkwardly for a moment, then went to the door, muttering something about getting the nurse before disappearing. Hawkeye, meanwhile, sat down, folded her hands neatly in her lap, and stared calmly but sternly towards me, watching for any sudden moves i might make. In the back of my mind i knew she and Havoc were just trying to help, and make sure i healed properly, but right then I don't think I'd ever felt so Angry at them.


End file.
